Sweet, sweet nostalgia. Simpler times, nineteen-ninety-whatever. I remember being too young to own a Game Boy upon its release, but I was just old enough to poke my brother repeatedly in the eye as he tried to play some GODDAMN TETRIS, KRISTIN, QUIT IT. As the younger sister of a boy growing up in Nintendo’s target demographic during its golden era, I was able to remain a half-step behind the times as I enjoyed his myriad games as he gradually tired of them and moved on to the next thing. Luxuries such as the above-mentioned Game Boy, Nintendo/Super Nintendo, that Duck Hunt game that came with the gun, the Power Glove, Nintendo 64, Game Cube, Wii – yes, my game-mooching has continued to this very day. Not to mention consoles and hand-helds outside of the Nintendo realm – Sega Genesis, Game Gear, Dreamcast (what a piece of shit that thing was), Xbox, etc.
ANYWAY, context aside, I have to reveal the true origins of this week’s inspiration. One Adam Ellis, of Books of Adam fame, found himself on the east coast, and we conspired one evening in a Brooklyn bar to create a cake so epic, so incredibly badass, the effect of it would cause the internet to implode, thus changing the lives of millions, and, inevitably, the course of history.
After I vetoed his fetus cake idea, we settled on Game Boy. The following week, myself, Adam, and friend Trevor got together and poured all of our creative faculties into the collaborative construction of the greatest cake that you have ever seen, to date.
You’ll notice that I have completely, and without shame, jacked Adam’s illustration style for the purpose of this post. You’ll also notice that he’s much better at drawing.
It was a learning experience. Here are some other things I learned:
1.) A little bit of fondant can go a long way. Still using the remains of the minesweeper cake.
2.) Adam is a whore for ganache.
3.) Adam is extremely photogenic.
4.) Keep your eye on Trevor because he will shatter your skull if you’re not paying attention.
5.) Don’t let Adam text a picture of the finished product to a single g-darn person, because it will end up preemptively on the r/gaming subreddit. To those redditors who were hating on my marble counter top and the fact that the A/B buttons are not to scale, you bring up excellent points, and in the future, I will certainly put more time and effort into honing my craft.
As Adam’s skills with ink and paper are widely known, we agreed that he was going to have to draw something on the cake. But WHAT. Tetris? Boring. Mario? Predictable. Genitalia? Also predictable. Kirby? Yes. Definitely Kirby. That pink marshmallow has always been my number one pick in Super Smash Bros, because, excuse me, he can fly. And turn into a brick as a defense mechanism. Being the sort of gamer who would just sort of schmoosh the buttons and hope for the best, Kirby’s multiple aversion tactics suited me perfectly. I’d either hover above the melee or rock it up down below. Either way, my non-confrontational nature easily translated.
But lo, Adam drew a perfect Kirby screen shot and decided that no, wait, Kirby is a dick – Samus is where it’s at. He then created a fondant game cartridge to solidify his change of heart.
Add that to the list of things I’ve learned in this process: Kirby? Kind of a dick, actually.
We wrapped up our magical evening by pretending that the cake was a real Game Boy, and then neglect to eat it, because Adam apparently will eat any food you put in front of him and had maxed out, fondant-wise.
Yes, he had maxed-out on fondant, but not on tacos. After the cake construction we had a fine meal at a fine establishment called
Cut to a week later – the cake remained uneaten. As my roommates have long since tired of eating cake, I had to take matters into my own hands. It didn’t help that I requested that we all eat cake at some ridiculous hour like 9:30am.
Yes, I’m wearing a Duchess shirt. I like to keep it fresh.
No comments:
Post a Comment